Today I went to the mall with my friend Megan. As I entered, I heard someone call out some kind of nasty term sounding along the lines of ‘whore’ or ‘hoe’, and then I heard the unmistakable laugh of my ex boyfriend. Instantly I was raging inside.
Like, honestly, if he had been the one to say it, it wouldn’t bother me at all. But it was his friend that called it out. He only laughed. His friend that used to be one of my best friends too. It honestly makes me angry and horribly upset, because I still like every single one of our mutual friends. I want to stay connected with them, but not him. And it just makes me wonder, what has he told them?
He cheated on me with his ex girlfriend. He is the one that ruined the relationship. I was just the one that cut him off completely. Three days after we break up from a four month relationship, he has another girlfriend. That is what made me cut him off. He probably told them some horrible lie.
I have been strong for a long time. I haven’t cried over him but maybe four times. I’ve pretended that all of this hasn’t bothered me, even though I’ve been so tormented by it. It’s just frustrating. I want to cry, but if I do then he wins. He’s moved on, been dating a girl for two months (and he already asked her to marry him. they’re both 17. i find this really funny, actually.) and I just feel like if I’m STILL crying, he ends up on top. I hate it.
I’m being over emotional. I need some meditation and yoga.